We Don't Always Know Why....

So here I am. No job yet. It's hard time to find jobs. But, I trust that if God wants me to have a one, he'll help me. I really don't understand what's going on with my life. I'm here totally bored at home. I felt at peace that I was supposed to come home when I did, which was actually 3 weeks early. I'm trying to figure out my schooling situation. I'm really close to getting my associate's degree at UVU. However, I'd like to transfer to BYU-I and have felt good about that. So, the question is, do I abandon my opportunity to get my associate's degree and just go ahead and transfer to BYU-I? Or... do I wait a little longer and finish up at U.V.U.? I'm really torn. I want to be smart about it, but I also want to do what the Lord wants me to do. I'm such a mess! (this dilemma is only the tip of the iceberg) Well, I guess I'll just keep looking into things and praying. Things will work out. I don't know why the Lord is having me go through all I'm experiencing, but it's definitely a lesson in patience and trust.

I love this poem:

My life is but a weaving, between my God and me.
I do not chose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent, and the shuttle ceases to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful weavers hand,
as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

The Lord is in control. Things will always work out!

Guess who has plans...

So, the shock and excitment of being home has worn off a bit. It's real. It's official. I am a returned missionary! Yikes! With no job and no school right now (and living at home), I have been totally bored out of my mind. I seem to have a lack of motivation to do productive things around the house. I'm so not used to being home all day! That's just not the missionary lifestyle! Well, thankfully I have some plans this week! Yes, I'm not pathetic anymore (hopefully)!

Monday I have F.H.E. with the Singles' Branch (That's right, I'm back in that crowd...)
Tuesday I have Institute (got to keep up my spirituality)
Wednesday I'm probably going to visit some family
Thursday I'm going to the Jordan River temple and then going dancing with a former companion and her friends.
Friday I leave for Arizona to go visit my Sister, her husband, and her daughter!

So, yes! I'm getting a life! All of this in addition, of course, to job hunting. Hopefully I'll have some interviews this week too. Ahh, the exciting life of a recent RM living with her parents! :)

Life after the mission....

Well, tomorrow marks two weeks since I returned home! In some ways it feels like it has been longer than that. In other ways it has gone by quickly.

Life has slowed down dramatically for me since my mission. I don't have a job yet, so I am basically a "stay-at-home" person. Sometimes I feel really unproductive. I am used to a "go, go, go" type of atmosphere. I am used to seeing many people on a daily basis. Now I pretty much interact with my family...and my friends via the computer. I see my friends in person, but not on a daily basis, they do have lives. Yeah, I definitely need a job!

Last week I volunteered at the T.R.C. (teaching resource center) at the Missionary Training Center. It was a good experience. However, I'm not so sure it was the smartest thing to do after only being back for a week. I seriously was confused. I felt like I was still a full-time missionary. It felt like it was just yesterday that I was there at the MTC as a missionary.

Last night my dad, brother, sister-in-law and I attended the Draper Utah temple open house. Wow. That was so emotional for me. I walked in the doors of the meetinghouse the tour started at and saw two sister missionaries. (Ok, I'll admit, I was envious of them. I would have much rather greeted people in a meetinghouse on dark, cold, winter nights of my mission than to be out tracting or what not. But, most of all, I was kind of wishing that was still me- a sister missionary). Then we watched a short video about temples. I really felt the spirit during it. Then we loaded buses and rode up to the temple. A lady basically reiterated what was said during the video. As we drove around one of the final curves on the way, the temple came in view. Here again, I was overcome. The spirit was so strong. Every temple is such a gorgeous edifice. I just have such a strong testimony of the power of the temple.

So, anyway... that's kind of been my life. It'll be interesting to see what unfolds in the coming months. I'm trying to figure out school stuff, a job, etc. It all seems to be going at a slow pace. (But, really it has only been two weeks!) But, I think that's ok. I think I need to come to terms with the fact that my mission is over. Life is different. I guess I've just got to trust God and let things happen the way He wants them to.

I've joined the bandwagon!

So, this morning I got up and decided to create a blog. I've now joined the blogging bandwagon. It seems to have become very popular while I was gone on my mission, especially among the married folk. Maybe I can start a new trend among the singles crowd. Well.... I love to write and I love pictures so I guess this idea of a blog is perfect for me.